Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize