just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize