I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
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Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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