My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize