You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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