I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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