Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Nicole vs. Life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize