This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
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True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
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I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize