There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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