Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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