They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize