I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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