So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize