If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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