I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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