It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize