Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize