P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wish my penis had a tongue
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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