y did u give ur computer a hand job?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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