dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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