I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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