none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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