Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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