i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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