I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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