please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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