wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize