john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
do nipples grow back?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize