my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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