I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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