They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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