dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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