I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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