She's JV to your varsity
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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