I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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