Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
...so i touched it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize