i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
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We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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