I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
did you just send me my own nude
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize