If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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