I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize