I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize