Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize