and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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