shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize