I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
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I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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