I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I need moral support for this bender
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize