Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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