i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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