Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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