my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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